Your Inner Critic is not invited. This is your writing party, and you’ll write if you want to. Here's how to be mindful, stand firm and live more lightly with imagined and real-life critics.
When you’re working on a writing project and the writing is slow-go or no-go, the problem may be you have an Inner Critic hanging around. Your Inner Critic is the internalized voice of all of your imagined and real-life critics.
One way Tara Mohr, author of Playing Big: Find Your Voice, Your Mission, Your Message, helps women who want to speak up and lead by recognizing that Inner Critic is there and gaining skills to quiet that voice.
Many of these skills draw upon a foundational practice of mindfulness—noticing through meditation, journaling and new habits of mind that the Inner Critic has shown up. Noticing the particular strain of the Inner Critic’s voice. Noticing what “gets” you—makes you turn away from creative, inspired thoughts and focus on the negative.
Some of these skills are ones that, in the somatic acting out of them, have more effect than if you just thought your way through.
But the most important thing Mohr offers is that you don’t have to win the argument with the Inner Critic. If you are arguing, you’re engaged. All you have to do is step away from the conversation.
“You don’t have to win the argument with the inner critic;
you have to step away from the conversation.”
~Tara Mohr, Playing Big
Be mindful, stand firm, live more lightly
Here are eleven clever ways to quiet your Inner Critic.
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I’ve modified these practices from Playing Big in ways that speak directly to the writer’s creative process, and I’ve blended in techniques from mindfulness meditation that will build a stronger foundation for you.
LABEL AND NOTICE. Resist the urge to quash it. Don’t argue with it. Resist the urge to distract or escape—go do something easier, like laundry. Resist the urge to compensate with something pleasant or indulgent—like chocolate or Starbucks. When you hear the critic talking, label this voice. Say to yourself, “Oh, look, I’m hearing my inner critic right now. Practice this early and often. Make this your foundational practice for about a month, then build on it.
The other practices that follow build on this one practice. So if you find the others challenging, step up your attention to this one. Practice it more. Notice how other practices get easier.
SEPARATE. You are not your critical voice. Separate the “I” from your Inner Critic. Use the third person to describe your Inner Critic. Don’t say, “I sure am freaking out.” Say, “My Inner Critic sure is freaking out.” The practice here is not to identify with your Inner Critic. It’s an “I do me, you do you” kind of moment. Over there, in third person, is your Inner Critic, just having a little freak-out. Over here, in first person, that’s you, noticing.
PERSONIFY. Take this one step further by giving your Inner Critic a persona. Give your Inner Critic a name and a visual image. The more humorous, the better.
SEE WITH COMPASSION. Be a little curious about what’s going on with your Inner Critic, as you would with a child. “What’s happening for you right now? What are you trying to do? What are you protecting me from?” You might ask what your Inner Critic is afraid of. Your Inner Critic is misguidedly trying to keep you safe from attack, embarrassment, wasted effort, isolation or all-out failure. Acknowledge that your Inner Critic has good motives. You can say, “Thanks for your input. I hear what you’re saying. I’m going this direction now, and I’ve got it covered.”
FIND THE HUMOR. What’s absurd about what your Inner Critic is saying?
GIVE YOUR INNER CRITIC A TIME OUT. Remove your Inner Critic from the scene. Stand up or walk out. Send your Inner Critic to the corner. Resume your work. You can say to your Muse or your computer screen, “It’s just me here now. We sent the Inner Critic out for a Starbucks.”
PACK YOUR INNER CRITIC IN A SUITCASE. If it’s a particularly hard day, put the suitcase in the trunk. Then don’t go on a trip. Go back in the house, sit down at your writing desk and write.
POUR YOUR INNER CRITIC INTO A VESSEL. Maybe a Grecian urn or a Mexican wedding vase. Take all those critical thoughts and pour them into a vessel. Take the vessel to another room.
PICTURE A FADEOUT. Imagine the voice of the Inner Critic receding into space. Oops! Your inner critic veered too far into the gravitational field of a black hole, and now he is being sucked into the abyss.
THROW WATER ON YOUR INNER CRITIC AND WATCH HER MELT. Just like the Wicked Witch in Oz. Grab a bucket and toss water on her. Watch as she moans, “I’m melting…I’m melting…I’m melting…” until she is nothing but a black hat.
TURN DOWN THE VOLUME. See a dial in your mind’s eye. Turn the volume all the way down.
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For more about grappling with your Inner Critic, consider becoming a paid subscriber. Behind this free post is a host of practices that will help you wrestle with this question so that your writing process can flow with the pure power of your voice.
You’ll find topics such as:
How to Identify the Voice, and Origin, of Your Inner Critic
How to Sort Out the Difference Between Your Inner Critic and Realistic Thinking
How to Ground in a New Perspective About Your Work
Time for a breakthrough? Book a time with me.
Looking for a breakthrough on this question of quieting the voice of your Inner Critic? Sign up for a one-hour Inner Critic consultation with me here.
I'll help you achieve a breakthrough in your creative process so your unruly crowd of inner critics does not hold you back.
I am a trained facilitator with Tara Mohr's Playing Big program, and I can help you wrestle with the Inner Critic and cultivate a relationship with your Inner Mentor.
This consultation is good for getting started on your path, as well as touching base during the process of developing or finishing your book.
It can be remarkably powerful when you are at the point of seeking an agent, building your author platform or launching your book and building an audience.
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