‘Hero’: Song #7 from the Boundless soundtrack
In BOUNDLESS, my newly published memoir, I have to learn that part of emptying the nest is letting your child become the hero of his own life. Enjoy this song from the movie “Boyhood.”
To the parents of future nest-jumpers, I say, “Let your child become the hero of his own life.”
This song, “Hero,” by Family of the Year, was the signature song in the movie, “Boyhood,” and it was one of the songs that my daughter Grace considered for her covers as she applied to music school.
“Let me go, I don’t want to be your hero,” the song goes.
What your child wants is the chance to become the hero of his own life, even if he makes a ton of mistakes. He will. You’ll have to stand by and watch them. You want to protect him. You want to prevent all those things.
Your job is not to protect your child from life’s hard and wild moments. Your job is to show your child how to learn from them and bounce back. Your job is to say, “Life is your teacher, so don’t be afraid.”
You won’t be there to download instructions. You’ll surely have forgotten to mention a few things before he goes off to college.
You don’t give your child “what to think.” You give your child “how to think.”
In BOUNDLESS, my son Paul agonized over his college choice to Arizona State University. This question hung in the balance right up to college decision day and persisted for another two months.
As much as I wanted this decision signed, sealed and delivered, I had to let go. I was moving across the country to accept a position as a magazine editor, and possibly at last, break the glass ceiling. I would have to trust that the other parent would get him registered for classes at ASU, or…
One night, as my daughter and I drove across Kansas, we stopped in Bonner Springs, Kansas, for a Glass Animals concert at an outdoor amphitheater. I felt a constriction around my heart. On the eve of our road trip, my son had announced that he wanted to change his mind about his college choice. I had to leave him in Albuquerque with his father and let him agonize over this alone. It felt like I should be there. My heart felt so tight in my chest, I didn’t know how I was going to “be here now” and enjoy the concert with my daughter. But then the full moon rose over the treetops, and my heart opened wide. “He’s got this!” I heard.
I didn’t need to be his hero. He needed to become his own hero.
And I’m happy to say he did. He’s working on his Ph.D. at ASU now. He’s got this.
BOUNDLESS has a soundtrack!
In honor of the December 21, 2024, release date, I give you 12 days of songs that tell the story of Living Boundlessly.
Music runs all through the story because I passed on my great musical inheritance to the twins. (And probably the wordsmithing inheritance, too… Grace wrote a play in middle school, and Paul wrote a sci-fi novel in fifth grade.)
Boundless is available!
BOOKSHOP - proceeds go to Bookworks, an independent bookstore in Albuquerque
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The Sixteen Superpowers of Memoir Writers
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It’s easy to write a memoir! All you need to do is write something with universal resonance that is true and comes from your life.
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Boundless has a birthdate! Coming Dec. 21, 2024
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From Lived Experience to a Book: The Path of My Memoir, Boundless