Writing memoir? Get a therapist. Now.
It's the best decision you'll ever make. You'll write better, faster and more courageously if you have support. Decision #9 from Sixteen Superpowers Memoir Writers Need to Have.
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9. Get a therapist. Now.
YOUR MANTRA: Stuff will come up, and that’s OK.
Especially if you’re doing this right. If it hurt before, it will hurt again. If you’re staying present and writing with immediacy, you are letting yourself hurt twice so you can make art. It’s not a terrible thing if stuff comes up that makes you more confused about the meaning in the story you’re after—it’s actually a great thing! This means you’re seeing with new eyes and asking harder questions.
Don’t let yourself be daunted by this. Your aim is to create a catharsis for the reader.
But do get support. You’re going to want an extra person on your team to take care of you while you write.
Mary Karr is a huge proponent of therapy while writing a memoir.
“In terms of cathartic affect, memoir is like therapy, the difference being that in therapy, you pay them. The therapist is the mommy, and you’re the baby. In memoir, you’re the mommy, and the reader’s the baby. And—hopefully—they pay you.”
MARY KARR
As a book coach who works often with memoirists, I have observed that many writers arrive believing they have a beginning, middle and end for their books. This is why they feel ready to write -- the time is ripe. What often happens, when they invest the time and intention and energy into the writing, is that new challenges present themselves. For a while it seems to get harder, not easier.
All the new troubles are revelatory. They have a way of deepening the book. I have seen memoirists go deeper by scheduling a trip or setting up an interview that they hadn’t anticipated doing. Suddenly, they have not just a great book, but a masterpiece.
So, don’t go it alone.
DECISION: Find a therapist who really understands and supports you.
ABOUT SIXTEEN SUPERPOWERS OF MEMOIR WRITERS
It’s easy to write a memoir! All you need to do is write something with universal resonance that is true and comes from your life.
Let’s get real. To write a memoir, you need a basket of superpowers.
As a memoir writer with a forthcoming book (BOUNDLESS, coming December 2024 - pre-order here at Bookshop | Barnes & Noble | Amazon and as a book coach/developmental editor who works with memoir writers, I’ve learned quite a lot about tapping into literary superpowers.
What’s enduring about memoir is that it is real, and it matters. A few decisions you make on the front end will determine whether it will go well.
In this series of posts, I give you 16 decisions to install at the beginning of your journey. Make these pacts with yourself, stick to them and you’ll get there!
THE FULL SERIES - AVAILABLE TO PAID SUBSCRIBERS
The Sixteen Superpowers of Memoir Writers: Make These Decisions on the Front End, and All Will Go Well for You
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